Book Review: Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree With or Like or Trust

Book Review: Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don’t Agree With or Like or Trust 

Adam Kahane’s Collaborating with the Enemy explores the intricate dynamics of collaboration in challenging and divisive contexts. Published in 2017, the book challenges traditional notions of teamwork and presents a pragmatic approach to navigating complex situations where stakeholders might disagree, distrust, or even dislike one another. Kahane, drawing from decades of experience as a facilitator of high-stakes dialogues across the globe, delivers a compelling narrative interwoven with real-world anecdotes and thought-provoking insights.

Overview of the Book’s Premise

At its core, the book is a manual for addressing what Kahane terms "stretch collaboration." Unlike conventional collaboration, which relies on shared goals, trust, and consensus, stretch collaboration acknowledges the messy, adversarial nature of real-world interactions. Kahane argues that instead of striving for unity, we should embrace difference and conflict as inevitable elements of the collaborative process.

The book’s central thesis is encapsulated in a paradoxical idea: to collaborate effectively, one must sometimes not collaborate at all. This involves recognizing the need to work independently while maintaining the flexibility to re-engage with others when necessary. Kahane presents a model of collaboration that is fluid, adaptive, and often uncomfortable, but one that reflects the realities of today’s polarized world.

Structure and Key Themes

The book is divided into three parts, each building on Kahane’s argument for a more nuanced and dynamic approach to collaboration:

1. Reframing Collaboration

Kahane begins by debunking the myth of harmonious collaboration. He contends that traditional methods—focusing on alignment, agreement, and collective action—are inadequate for solving "wicked problems," or issues characterized by complexity, ambiguity, and conflicting interests. Instead, he advocates for acknowledging and accepting divergence.

One of the key ideas in this section is the distinction between conventional collaboration and stretch collaboration. The former works well in stable, predictable environments, while the latter is essential for navigating volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous (VUCA) contexts.

2. Practicing Stretch Collaboration

In the second section, Kahane introduces practical strategies for implementing stretch collaboration. These include:

Embracing Conflict: Rather than avoiding disagreements, Kahane suggests leaning into them to uncover new perspectives and possibilities.

Experimenting with Actions: Instead of striving for a perfect plan, he advocates for iterative learning through trial and error.

Letting Go of Control: Kahane emphasizes the importance of relinquishing the need to control outcomes, allowing space for emergent solutions.

Through vivid examples, such as his work in post-apartheid South Africa and conflict zones in Latin America, Kahane illustrates how these principles can lead to breakthroughs in seemingly intractable situations.

3. Transforming Ourselves

The final section shifts focus to the personal dimension of collaboration. Kahane argues that effective collaboration requires a willingness to confront one’s own biases, fears, and limitations. He highlights the importance of self-awareness, humility, and the capacity to navigate discomfort.

One of the most profound insights in this section is the idea that collaboration is not just about solving external problems but also about transforming oneself. By engaging with others who hold opposing views, we expand our understanding of the world and our place within it.

Strengths of the Book

Real-World Relevance: Kahane’s approach is refreshingly grounded in the messy realities of human interaction. His examples, ranging from corporate boardrooms to international peace negotiations, make the book accessible and relatable.

Challenging Conventional Wisdom: The book pushes readers to rethink their assumptions about collaboration. By framing conflict and divergence as opportunities rather than obstacles, Kahane offers a transformative perspective on teamwork.

Practical Tools and Strategies: While deeply philosophical, the book also provides actionable advice for implementing stretch collaboration in various contexts.

Critiques and Limitations

Complexity of Implementation: While Kahane’s ideas are compelling, their application can be challenging, especially in deeply entrenched conflicts. The book could benefit from more concrete case studies demonstrating how stretch collaboration has led to measurable outcomes.

Ambiguity in Definitions: Some readers might find Kahane’s terminology, such as “stretch collaboration,” overly abstract. A clearer distinction between theoretical concepts and practical steps would enhance the book’s accessibility.

Limited Focus on Power Dynamics: Although Kahane touches on issues of power and privilege, a deeper exploration of how these factors shape collaborative processes would strengthen his argument.

Key Takeaways for Practitioners

Expect Discomfort: Collaboration, particularly in divisive contexts, is rarely smooth or straightforward. Embracing discomfort is essential for progress.

Value Difference: Rather than seeking uniformity, effective collaboration requires recognizing and leveraging diverse perspectives.

Focus on Learning: Stretch collaboration emphasizes experimentation and learning over rigid planning and execution.

Conclusion

Adam Kahane’s Collaborating with the Enemy is a thought-provoking and timely exploration of how to navigate the complexities of collaboration in a fragmented world. By challenging traditional notions of teamwork and offering a more adaptive approach, Kahane provides valuable insights for leaders, facilitators, and anyone grappling with the challenges of collective action.

While the book’s abstract concepts might require careful consideration to implement, its overarching message is clear: collaboration is not about erasing differences but about learning to work with them. In an era of polarization and complexity, Kahane’s ideas offer a much-needed roadmap for building bridges across divides.